Two weeks ago, I started a new Bible study. I can say for a certainty that it will be one of those studies that will stay with me forever. I've learned so many new things about God and about my relationship with Him. God is growing me in ways that are exciting, challenging, and scary, all the while training me to keep my thoughts totally focused on Him. And true to form, God is giving me opportunities to put into practice what I've been learning. I so want to be faithful and take these opportunities to be obedient, but honestly, all I want to do is cry right now....not a self-pity, why me kind of cry, but a let it all out cry. Is that okay?
I'm not looking to run away or hide from anything. But I do think I'm feeling overwhelmed. It can be overwhelming not understanding everything God is doing. Walking by faith isn't always easy and it isn't always fun. I wouldn't mind a little sight every now and then.
I'd like to see how I'm suppose to handle my huge homework load this semester. I'm struggling with it. And if God could just show me where the finances to pay for this education are going to come from, I'd be okay with that too. I'd like to see the blueprint for my children's & grandchildren's future. I'd like to take a peak at God's plan for a dear friend's health struggle. My eyes would treasure a glance at the next phase for my sister in law as she approaches the one-year mark of her husband's murder. And oh how I'd love to look at God's checklist for my husband as he deals with multiple sclerosis.
But God reminds me that as I trust in Him, as I walk by faith, He will reveal to me the things I need to know. I'm also reminded of Psalm 121, a psalm of help and reassurance. As I read this psalm, I see God doing all the work, taking care of every situation. All I have to do is look to Him, My Help.
1 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2 My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
8 The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
As I trust God, He will show His strength to me. He will let me see His power.
Jer 33:3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
So I do think it's okay to cry. Scripture is full of people who cried. Moses, Joshua, David, Hannah all cried unto the Lord as they faced difficult circumstances and sought His help and strength. Their cries were cries of faith. That's the kind of crying I want to do, with a heart of faith, pouring out my concerns to the One who will help, provide, strengthen, and comfort.
So my tears now are those of gratitude. And I have so much for which to be thankful. I need a kleenex!
I'm not looking to run away or hide from anything. But I do think I'm feeling overwhelmed. It can be overwhelming not understanding everything God is doing. Walking by faith isn't always easy and it isn't always fun. I wouldn't mind a little sight every now and then.
I'd like to see how I'm suppose to handle my huge homework load this semester. I'm struggling with it. And if God could just show me where the finances to pay for this education are going to come from, I'd be okay with that too. I'd like to see the blueprint for my children's & grandchildren's future. I'd like to take a peak at God's plan for a dear friend's health struggle. My eyes would treasure a glance at the next phase for my sister in law as she approaches the one-year mark of her husband's murder. And oh how I'd love to look at God's checklist for my husband as he deals with multiple sclerosis.
But God reminds me that as I trust in Him, as I walk by faith, He will reveal to me the things I need to know. I'm also reminded of Psalm 121, a psalm of help and reassurance. As I read this psalm, I see God doing all the work, taking care of every situation. All I have to do is look to Him, My Help.
1 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2 My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
8 The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
As I trust God, He will show His strength to me. He will let me see His power.
Jer 33:3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
So I do think it's okay to cry. Scripture is full of people who cried. Moses, Joshua, David, Hannah all cried unto the Lord as they faced difficult circumstances and sought His help and strength. Their cries were cries of faith. That's the kind of crying I want to do, with a heart of faith, pouring out my concerns to the One who will help, provide, strengthen, and comfort.
So my tears now are those of gratitude. And I have so much for which to be thankful. I need a kleenex!
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