She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. - Prov 31:26
This entire week's study focused on the words we speak. It showed the positive effect our words can have: life, healing, helping, edification, and peace. It also showed the negative: death, hurting, strife, and chaos.
Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wisest of women builds her house." I believe that one way to do that is through the words I choose to speak.
Yes, my words are my choice. So often I say something to the effect of "I didn't mean it. I spoke without thinking." or "The words just flew out of my mouth" or "My mouth works faster than my brain." This week God showed me that these are all excuses and He took them away from me. I can no longer fall back on these old, familiar phrases to excuse away my disobedience for hurting someone with my words. But here is God's goodness and grace - He also showed me how He wants me to make the best possible choice of words as I speak to others. S.T.O.P. before speaking.
S- Silence. It is okay, actually best, to be quiet before saying anything. It gives the brain time to evaluate what is being said or the surrounding circumstances. So many times I've thought that I've had to say something or respond right away. Not true. Job 24:29 says "When he giveth quietness, who then can make trouble?" I don't want my words to make trouble for anyone. So I need to choose silence, to be quiet.
T-Thinking Time. Take the time and choose to think. I need to think about what I want to say and how I want to say it. An instant response isn't always necessary. That's usually when I get into trouble. I have found that it is okay to say something like "I need to think about that and I will get back to you." Psalm 119:59 says "I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies." God's ways are always best and I need to make sure, especially before speaking, that I am in line with His ways and not going in my own way. But what am I to do when an immediate response is needed and I can't take a lot of time to think? Just a few seconds of quietly focusing my thoughts on God is best. He is faithful and will bring to my mind the the things He wants me to say. My choice is then to obey His leading.
O-Opt for Good. Always, always, always choose to speak good and kind words. "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear" Eph 4:29. I need to make a purposeful effort to speak good and gracious words. I really dislike the phrase 'brutally honest'. I once heard a wife say that she was always brutally honest with her husband because she loves him so much. Hogwash! The word brutal does not conjure up thoughts of love, respect, and helpfulness. I believe that I can and should be honest while at the same time, be loving, kind, generous, and encouraging. Good words are always more helpful (and honest!) than brutal ones.
P-Pray. Ask for God's wisdom and direction. This seems like a no-brainer but I have so often opened my mouth without asking God for help. It doesn't have to be a long drawn-out prayer either. Look at Peter when he was sinking in the water. He spoke three simple words, "Lord, save me." I can do the same thing concerning my words. A quick prayer of 'Lord, help me speak Your words' is sufficient. If you have more time to bring it to the Lord, then do. James 5:17b says "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." This is so true, especially in regards to speech.
A final verse that God brought to my mind a lot this week: Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person - Colossians 4:6. I think I will memorize his alongside Prov 31:26. They go so beautifully together.
This entire week's study focused on the words we speak. It showed the positive effect our words can have: life, healing, helping, edification, and peace. It also showed the negative: death, hurting, strife, and chaos.
Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wisest of women builds her house." I believe that one way to do that is through the words I choose to speak.
Yes, my words are my choice. So often I say something to the effect of "I didn't mean it. I spoke without thinking." or "The words just flew out of my mouth" or "My mouth works faster than my brain." This week God showed me that these are all excuses and He took them away from me. I can no longer fall back on these old, familiar phrases to excuse away my disobedience for hurting someone with my words. But here is God's goodness and grace - He also showed me how He wants me to make the best possible choice of words as I speak to others. S.T.O.P. before speaking.
S- Silence. It is okay, actually best, to be quiet before saying anything. It gives the brain time to evaluate what is being said or the surrounding circumstances. So many times I've thought that I've had to say something or respond right away. Not true. Job 24:29 says "When he giveth quietness, who then can make trouble?" I don't want my words to make trouble for anyone. So I need to choose silence, to be quiet.
T-Thinking Time. Take the time and choose to think. I need to think about what I want to say and how I want to say it. An instant response isn't always necessary. That's usually when I get into trouble. I have found that it is okay to say something like "I need to think about that and I will get back to you." Psalm 119:59 says "I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies." God's ways are always best and I need to make sure, especially before speaking, that I am in line with His ways and not going in my own way. But what am I to do when an immediate response is needed and I can't take a lot of time to think? Just a few seconds of quietly focusing my thoughts on God is best. He is faithful and will bring to my mind the the things He wants me to say. My choice is then to obey His leading.
O-Opt for Good. Always, always, always choose to speak good and kind words. "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear" Eph 4:29. I need to make a purposeful effort to speak good and gracious words. I really dislike the phrase 'brutally honest'. I once heard a wife say that she was always brutally honest with her husband because she loves him so much. Hogwash! The word brutal does not conjure up thoughts of love, respect, and helpfulness. I believe that I can and should be honest while at the same time, be loving, kind, generous, and encouraging. Good words are always more helpful (and honest!) than brutal ones.
P-Pray. Ask for God's wisdom and direction. This seems like a no-brainer but I have so often opened my mouth without asking God for help. It doesn't have to be a long drawn-out prayer either. Look at Peter when he was sinking in the water. He spoke three simple words, "Lord, save me." I can do the same thing concerning my words. A quick prayer of 'Lord, help me speak Your words' is sufficient. If you have more time to bring it to the Lord, then do. James 5:17b says "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." This is so true, especially in regards to speech.
A final verse that God brought to my mind a lot this week: Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person - Colossians 4:6. I think I will memorize his alongside Prov 31:26. They go so beautifully together.
Wow, Cheryl. "I can no longer fall back on these old, familiar phrases to excuse away my disobedience for hurting someone with my words." Such wisdom and humility! Did you come up with the "S.T.O.P." on your own, or is that something you had heard before? God has also convicted me about this issue, this week. So glad God isn't done with any of us, yet!
ReplyDeleteI came up with the S.T.O.P on my own. Actually, it was God's reply when I asked Him to show me ways to practice wise speech. I have never been disappointed by His wise and faithful answers. :)
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